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With a 70 percent chance of developing breast cancer, I underwent a double mastectomy. And after trying implants, I decided to go flat.
And I feel confident and beautiful – most of the time.
I opted for the risk-reducing mastectomy in 2019 because I have the BRCA2 gene mutation, which is associated with an increased risk of breast cancer for both men and women.
My grandmother died of breast cancer at age 49, my mother died of ovarian cancer at age 66, and my cousin was recently diagnosed with breast cancer in her mid-30s (she is doing well now).
The recommendations for people with a BRCA2 mutation say that having a risk-reducing mastectomy at age 40 is the most effective way to manage cancer risk.
So that's what I did.
(From left) Robyn's mother Helen, Robyn, her cousin Louise and her uncle Bruce, all of whom have the BRCA2 gene mutation. Source: Delivered
Risk-reducing mastectomy isn't for everyone, but three months after my mother died, when I was 39, I took the plunge.
I had never wanted to do something so badly in my life, but I knew I had to.
I cried all the way to the theater.
Choosing implants
The operation lifted a weight off my shoulders. The worries I experienced in the run-up were much worse than during the actual operation.
A provider told me about research showing that some women had better mental health outcomes when they reconstructed after a mastectomy, and I was given a nice glossy brochure about implants.
I decided to have them. Although in retrospect, I probably didn't do enough research into my post-mastectomy options.
I was completely unaware of the potential risks and complications of breast implants and this information can be difficult to find.
Unfortunately, I experienced a host of health problems after my surgery, including severe fatigue, insomnia, numbness and tingling in my hands and forearms, hair loss/banging, memory loss, and brain fog.
After breast implants, Robyn suffered from fatigue, insomnia, numbness, hair loss/banging, memory loss and brain fog. Source: Delivered
I had experienced no other changes in my health and I experienced all the symptoms after having the implants placed, so I suspected they were the culprit.
I visited many health professionals seeking information and answers. Someone told me that it could all be in my head and that there was no evidence for what I was experiencing.
I was tested for lupus and Sjögren's syndrome (both autoimmune diseases).
I was disappointed that I had done the right thing, followed the 'guidelines' and advice of experts and this was my result.
All I wanted was my good health back and less risk of complications.
Aesthetics or health?
I considered removing my implants and having them go flat, thinking this would solve my health problems and – since breast implants are not lifelong devices – would negate the need for further surgery in the future.
Again, I did a lot of research and visited many different health professionals – and stopped counting the money I spent on this because it was devastating.
One professional told me (twice) that I would look “aesthetically displeasing” if I removed my breast implants and went flat.
I was shocked that this person focused on their perception of aesthetics, rather than my health.
Someone else told me they could remove my implants and leave a bag in case I changed my mind.
I know many health professionals who support women's choice to flatten after a mastectomy, but of course I have seen those who assume that all women want and need to have reconstruction.
New ways to feel beautiful
Thirteen months after my mastectomy, I removed my implants and underwent flat closure surgery, where surgeons removed excess skin and created a smooth, flat chest.
My body is forever changed after my mastectomy and I am happy and healthier after my explant surgery.
After having her breast implants removed, Robyn says she feels happier and healthier. Source: Delivered
Most of my health problems disappeared and I found new ways to feel confident and beautiful in my new skin.
The best part is that I can now feel and give the most amazing hugs, something I hated when I had implants.
The best part is that I can now feel and give the most fantastic hugs.
Robyn Smith
This is my personal experience and it is not the same for everyone, but I found that there was very little information and support for people wanting to flatten out after a mastectomy.
Women should be supported and informed in an unbiased way when making decisions about their bodies.
I will continue to advocate for more awareness, support, and information for people who choose to go flat after a mastectomy, along with other passionate women who have also decided to go flat.
Robyn advocates for more awareness, support and information for people who choose to go flat after a mastectomy. Source: Delivered
Confident in my own skin – especially
These days I feel at peace with my body. And above all, I don't think many people notice that I don't have breasts.
Even though I have moments of uncertainty.
When I'm with my teenage daughter's friends, I sometimes wonder if they look at me and wonder why I don't have breasts.
I know it's just a body; it is the outside of me. It's not the part of me that generates kindness, is thoughtful, and loves others.
Sometimes I struggle. I think about how this happened to me, because people in my family have died.
But I always try to remind myself how lucky and privileged I was to have the information and support to make this decision. That gives you strength.
Other people in my family before me were not so lucky.
And for more stories, visit presented by Kumi Taguchi. From sex and relationships to health, wealth and grief, Insightful offers deeper dives into the lives and first-person stories of former guests from the critically acclaimed TV show Insight.
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