Preventing child abuse must go hand in hand with treating pedophiles, even past perpetrators, experts say

WARNING: This article may impact people who have experienced sexual violence or know someone who has.

Cat Bodden, who was sexually abused by a family member as a child, never imagined she would work with convicted sex offenders.

But that's what she's been doing for almost a decade, trying to understand the mind of a pedophile.

“I had questions I wanted to ask perpetrators. I had questions I needed to understand why this was happening. That was where I was in my healing journey 10 years ago,” she told CBC Radio. Ideas.

In 2017, Bodden met a convicted sex offender whom CBC wanted to call Stan.

Stan participated in a program at Community Justice Initiatives (CJI), a restorative justice organization in Kitchener, Ontario, aimed at supporting convicted sex offenders so that they do not reoffend once they are released from prison.

(CBC agreed to use a pseudonym for Stan for three reasons: the pain naming him could have on his victims; the possibility that his family would be targeted; and the potential that Stan himself would be harmed might experience if his name were made public.)

Bodden, 63, says she started volunteering at the CJI in 2013 because she felt that talking to perpetrators could provide answers — and healing — she couldn't find elsewhere. Her own perpetrator is dead.

Stan's reason for being with CJI was simply to prevent him from doing it again. In 2016, he pleaded guilty to seven sex-related charges involving five minors and was sentenced to 29 months in prison. After the first complaint was filed, another victim came forward with a complaint from the same period, for which Stan was also convicted and given a suspended sentence.

“I wish I got help sooner. When things came to light… which meant the damage I was causing stopped, those were the best days of my life,” he said. “And I hope in the coming years that I don't hurt anyone again.”

Sexual abuse of children is preventable. It's not inevitable.-Dr. Allyn Walker

Since first meeting, Bodden and Stan have become volunteers for a new CJI program that launched in 2022. In it, they act as surrogates and share their experiences as survivors and perpetrators to answer questions and help CJI clients heal from their own traumas. .

“So if the participant is a survivor, they can talk to someone who caused harm. If it's someone who caused harm, they can talk to a survivor,” said Jenn Beaudin, the program's coordinator. Ideas visited CJI in early 2024.

It is one of a growing number of programs aimed at preventing child sexual abuse. Along the way, it helps promote meaningful conversations about a type of crime that is considered unforgivable in much of society.

Distinguish pedophilia from sexual offenses

In 2021, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) in Toronto launched Talking for Change, a federally funded initiative that offers assessment, psychotherapy and a helpline for people looking to address or manage their attraction to minors.

The 16 to 20 week program in Toronto offers therapy with social workers or group therapy. The telephone helpline is anonymous and is offered in Atlantic Canada, Ontario, Quebec and Nunavut for people aged 18 or older.

“We're usually the first people they've ever told. They feel like monsters. They feel like no one would understand,” says Dr. Ainslie Heasman, a psychologist at CAMH who developed the program.

The idea of ​​stopping potential sex offenders before they cause harm goes against conventional thinking that the only way to tackle child sexual abuse is to punish an offender after the fact, says Dr. Allyn Walker, assistant professor at the Saint John's Department of Criminology. Mary's University in Halifax.

“Child sexual abuse is preventable. It is not inevitable,” Walker said.

Get help before you commit the offense. People may find it difficult when I say that.– Kat Bodden

An important part of prevention is understanding that while “pedophile” and “sex offender” are related terms, they don't mean the same thing, Heasman says.

“Pedophilia is specifically a sexual attraction or preference for prepubescent children,” Heasman says.

Some pedophiles don't want to hurt minors and never act on their attraction, she said. Furthermore, not all people who sexually harm children are pedophiles.

In his 2008 book Pedophilia and sexual crimes against childrenThis is what Canadian psychologist Michael Seto wrote approximately 40 to 50 percent of people who commit sexual crimes against minors are not sexually attracted to them. Heasman said factors such as impulsiveness, substance use, antisocial tendencies or loneliness could explain some of the violations.

Furthermore, says Walker, between 50 and 70 percent of sexual offenses against prepubescent children are committed by fellow minors – where the peak age of the perpetrators is 14 years. This often stems from a lack of education about sexual behavior and consent for adolescents.

In 2021, Walker, transgender and former sexual assault victim support counselor, published A long, dark shadow: people attracted to minors and their pursuit of dignity. For the book, Walker interviewed 42 adult pedophiles who had never abused a minor and were doing their best to control their urges.

“I found out they wanted to protect children. They wanted to make responsible choices,” Walker said. “They wanted to be good people.”

The book received widespread attention with American conservative commentator Tucker Carlson mocking Walker on Fox News, while comedian Colin Jost joked about the book on Saturday evening live.

It led to personal attacks on social media accusing Walker of advocating sexual assault, often focusing on their trans identity.

“There were a lot of transphobic messages… They wrote that I had a gay or transgender agenda,” Walker said. “They also made threats against children in my family, which was quite terrifying.”

Mandatory reporting laws

Canada, like most countries, has laws that require anyone who suspects that a person is or may be causing sexual harm to a child to report those concerns to child protective services. This also applies if the person has sexually harmed a child in the past.

Heasman says these mandatory reporting laws—particularly the requirement to report past crimes against children—have had an unintended consequence: They can prevent pedophiles from seeking help.

'It could paradoxically and unfortunately drive individuals further underground, promote secrecy and [a] feeling like they are all alone and have no one to talk to, so they don't seek the help they need,” she said.

Mandatory reporting laws are one of the reasons Stan only sought help after he was arrested.

“I couldn't go to my doctor because the doctor would have to report it,” Stan said. “I don't want to go to jail.”

Germany is a country that has taken a different approach.

“Under German law, it is considered a breach of confidentiality for the treating therapist if he were to report to the police anything about past child sexual abuse,” says Dr. Klaus Beier, a sexologist in Berlin.

Beier is the driving force behind a prevention program called Dunkelfeld, which translates to “dark field” — in other words, “all these cases are not known to the legal authorities,” he said.

When it was introduced in 2005, it had to overcome considerable public skepticism, but Dunkelfeld has since expanded to twelve locations across Germany.

Beier calls mandatory reporting laws like Canada's “a mistake” when it comes to stopping future sexual abuse.

“Of course it is largely driven by emotional thinking, and it is difficult to face these issues,” he said. “I know that very well, but from a preventive perspective it is really wrong.”

Why help former perpetrators at all?

Stan knows that many people would never support helping a pedophile, especially one who has committed offenses in the past.

“I understand that. I don't agree with it,” he said. “One day that person will get out of jail. I deserved to be punished. [After that,] you work with people who can help you control your mind.”

“I hope that on the day I die, someone at my funeral says, 'There's a recovered sex offender,'” Stan said, holding back tears. “That's what I'm hoping for.”

Bodden says she's not opposed to sending sex offenders to prison, but doesn't believe incarceration alone will solve the problem.

'Seek help before you commit the offense. People might find it difficult when I say that,” she said.

“I don't want anyone to go through this experience that I went through, and or [the way to] Solving the problem is to get help before the violation happens, then let's do it that way.”